I’ve spoken about this before, and I feel the need to speak about it again. Some thoughts are like chronic itches—they don’t go away with one scratch. They stay with you, just beneath the surface, quietly tapping for attention. And this one is about abundance.
Not money exactly—though that’s what it often translates to—but the whole relationship I have with having enough.
Has it improved over the years?
Yes.
Am I more pragmatic now?
Yes.
Am I better off than before?
Absolutely.
But even with all that, the feeling lingers. The world finds a way to whisper: It’s not enough.
Inflation, Taxes, and a Sense of Insufficiency
There’s inflation eating away at your earnings.
Taxes waiting at the finish line.
In many ways, I do have more than I ever did. But when you’ve grown up in a household where money was tight, where caution was the default setting, that mindset doesn’t leave easily. You carry it like a second skin—even when you’re financially okay.
I’ve been wise. Conservative. Calculated in how I spend.
But then a question returns: Why are you earning all this money if not to take care of your family?
And that’s where it gets complicated.
Fairness Is a Moving Target
When you’re the main breadwinner, the emotional economy becomes just as demanding as the financial one. Everyone has needs. Everyone has wishes. And when you give a little leeway to one person, you feel obligated to balance the scale with the others.
Otherwise, it feels like… splurging? Maybe favoritism? Or guilt?
You try to be fair. But what is fair, really? Is saying yes the right thing? Is saying no a lesson? When do you protect your resources, and when do you let them flow?
I wonder often: is this really a scarcity issue? Or is it something deeper—an inner conflict between wisdom and generosity?
Fatherhood and the Line We Draw
I think about my child, too.
If I say yes to everything, will he ever learn struggle? Will he be soft in a world that isn’t? Where is the line between love and spoiling?
Some people say you don’t need struggle—you can raise a child to be kind, humble, and strong without hardship. I hope that’s true. I haven’t seen enough proof of it, though.
So I carry this question every day—not just as someone who earns, but as someone who gives.
And maybe that’s the real tension of abundance.