Judging Is Easy Repentance Is Hard

We are faster than a flash when we judge and slower than a snail when we accept mistakes. It’s been clearly understood by every sane person that judging is not right. We can only judge what we truly know and we truly know nothing. Less we know about ourself and lesser about anyone else. Then why is it so easy to judge?

As Daniel Kahneman explains in his book Thinking fast and slow we have two types of thought processes, one which is fast and automatic and the other which is slow and logical. They both have their place and should be used for the right job. We, humans, are lazy and we let the automatic and fast mind direct us the majority of the times. We look and make a judgement without waiting for the slow and logical mind to think about the background. This is a deep-rooted habit pattern as our ancestors were required to make quick decisions. It was a do or die situation but things have changed. Today we are not always in a perilous situation and can take time to stop and reason but it takes conscious practice to fix this.

One thing that I do when I make a wrong judgement(all judgements are wrong) is to confront the person. I accept that I’ve fuck*d up and I’m sorry about that. I feel embarrassed that this perfect being that I imagine myself, messed it up but that’s okay. This, in turn, makes me humble and keeps me grounded. To say sorry when you are wrong is not easy, it takes sincere courage to ask for forgiveness.

There are times when we judge and the other person doesn’t know but there are times when we judge and react. That’s a blunder we make. I’ll share a recent encounter with you. I have two kids at my home and I know one of them to be mischievous. Yesterday when I was sitting I saw the smaller girl started crying and I see that the big guy was just beside her. I immediately concluded that it was something that he did. Though that judgement was based on my past experiences with him, it was still not made by the slow and rational mind. Which would have enquired what happened before getting angry with the kid. Then it came out that the kid was keeping his fingers on the door hinge which closed on him. I felt very bad and I gathered the courage to say sorry. Yes, he is younger to me but he deserved a sorry and I was wrong.

That’s a simplistic example but we do such mistakes all the time. Now that you have read this you will go back to your life and fuck up again. But don’t worry make a conscious effort to fix it and gradually you will get better at not judging people.

Judging is easy, repentance is hard but worth the price!