Instant Liking vs Gradual Appreciation

It is highly underestimated how much importance we put in instant likeness. We value what we like naturally. This might not be a bad thing per se but we ought to understand what this method of decision making brings with it. We all have known by now that there are no silver bullets in life and that holds for this behaviour of ours.

I’ve observed that the things that have given me longer-lasting happiness were things which I didn’t like at the first glace. Sound very weird, I know but I have examples from my own life that I’ll share. I’m forced to believe that the deliberate persistence and hard work we do towards anything can give birth to liking and that lasts more than our instant infatuation.

The fire that we light up with our own hands will always feel warmer than the cosy fireplace someone built for us!

First is the story of my interest in programming. My introduction to programming officially started with Java in grade 8. The word you would use to define my condition at that time can only be ‘shitty’, it was that bad. I did not understand why were we doing things and nothing made sense and I started failing in the subject. Luckily I found a mentor who would tuition me and that genius guided me towards my first aha moment. The day when it clicked. I just knew that it was starting to make sense and I could do it too. And from that day onward I have never looked back. I’ve moved on progressing and it’s been twelve years and I still like what I do. I look back to those time with bewilderment that how something that I was so bad at and avoided will eventually start making sense and be my love of life.

Another story is about my last relationship which was great in its own right. I would go as far as to say that it was perfect. It lasted for 6 golden years when it did but eventually, we messed up and I guess that’s the part of life. That perfect relationship was not perfect from day one. When I met her for the first time I neither loved her nor liked her. I was myself going through a very weird phase of my life where I was not sure what I wanted. The good thing which I did was I deferred my decision and did not let my first instinct rule over me. I knew that she was a very nice person and it would be hard to find someone honest and loyal like her. And I was wise enough to know that these were the qualities that mattered. It took a good couple of years for me to love her. But when I did love her it was heaven. I can easily close my eyes and say that it was one of the best decision I ever took. It eventually went sour due to our negligence and weakness but that’s fine. Everything ought to leave us one day anyway. What’s important today is the wisdom that deliberate efforts can yield lasting results.

There are a lot of other examples which reflect the same idea but as you can see these were two that gave direction to my life. My take on this is passion and like is cultivated. And when cultivated, longevity and satisfaction entail. Infatuations are short-lived and they die as fast as they are born but if you can cultivate real passion it goes a long way. :)